I have only been involved in Witchcraft for a handful of years and waited a while before actually doing ritual and spellwork, I am still fairly new. There is so much to take in and this is such a process.

However, I have been thinking about how different my life is now since I have been on this beautiful path. In reviewing my journals and thinking about "the beginning" I realize just how different things are. I started my search into the craft the same as many others, with an interest in playing with the cool stuff and casting spells to make my life great (cringe). I browsed many forums and quickly came to feel that newbies were not looked on favorably so I kept to myself.

Not knowing really what to do I started collecting supplies and tools and visiting local Pagan shops and dug into books. One of the things I kept seeing and hearing in those early days was that Witchcraft will change you. I did not understand. Looking back I see how true that is. I wanted to share some of the areas of change for me.

One of the biggest areas - patience - In the beginning the amount of patience required annoyed me.  I liked instant and found that my interest in most things faded if I had to wait too long. It was different with the craft. I was annoyed at the process but I guess it must have been worth it because I learned to work through the frustration. There is so much to learn and sometimes it is slow because the more you learn the more unanswered questions pop up that beg to be answered. Then everything started coming together and it is such a good feeling.

And spells - even though it is possible to decide on a whim to cast a spell and run inside and throw it together - you get better results following the process. I learned that timing is important, the reason is important, how you perform it is important, and knowledge is important. And... sometimes no spell at all is important. It takes time and planning. It is a process that has to be worked. But now I enjoy the learning, the waiting, the planning. I have found myself slowing down and at the same time being more productive in all areas of my life. That is a huge bonus for me.

Another area of change - Nature - I have always loved nature and have had a respect for it but there is so much more there for me now. Knowing that everything (even humans) is made up tiny little dots of moving energy is so incredible. It is sometimes too big to wrap my brain around and other times it seems so simple. Small areas of change I have found in myself are recycling, driving less, caring for stray animals and helping to have them spayed and neutered and/or find homes for them, even taking better care of my own yard and plants. Nature has become more special to me.

Learning to be quiet - Wow! Now this was, and is, a tough one. I find it hard to be quiet inside. Always thinking and studying and trying to push forward. I think the hardest things for us are usually what we need the most. I have found that when I do meditate and can get to that place of being in the here and now, stilling my mind, it is amazing. Sometimes a handful of minutes can feel like an hour of rest.

Balance - This is also a struggle. I find myself getting lost in the daily grind and am always trying to just get caught up. But now I know the importance of balance in my life and keep making small adjustments to get there. Work, spiritual practice, family, exercise, fun, friends, etc. are all important for a rich life. I am calmer, happier and better able to handle the conflicts and sadness that life brings when I have balance. Who knew!

Knowing me - This one is huge! If there has ever been a time in my life where I have began to know myself it has been in the past 3 or 4 years. One of the largest areas of change has been in the area of Fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of going against Christianity and my friends and family, fear of change, fear of having my own voice - fear was a huge part of my life.  Over the past few years I have found that I am not afraid of much - cautious yes but fear does not have a hold on me anymore.

For the first time I have felt it was okay to question all religion - especially Christianity (since this has been my background). That was the hardest fear of all to overcome - the fear of burning in Hell for all eternity. There was so much I did not know about the religion I had walked in for so long and I did not even realize my lack of knowledge. I feel all should follow their hearts with the religious path they choose. But it is so important to know the background of that religion. It is also important to know about other religions. How can you know you have made the right choice for you if you have no knowledge of what is available? And, how can you stand up for what you believe in when confronted by someone of another faith if you have limited knowledge of your own religion?

I remember the planes crashing into the World Trade Centers and the entire week all the television stations replayed it, over and over, and aired interviews of people sharing their thoughts and opinions. One day that week while I was watching television a little girl who lived in the same city as me, and who was of the Muslim faith was being interviewed. She was dressed in her religious attire and her head was covered. I watched and was feeling anger toward her at first. Then as I listened my entire world changed. She talked about her faith and how she was so afraid to walk out the door. She was this sweet little girl that was born into this faith that she seemed to love. It was what she knew and believed - and she was afraid. She hadn't done a thing.

Everything I ever believed about religion, faith and my life died at that moment. It was as if I had been thrown down - I sunk very low into a darkness that was smothering and it lasted for quite a while. I realized I did not know what to believe about anything because I had never allowed myself to have a choice. I believed what I was taught. I was in a marriage that others thought was right for me. I was in a faith that I had been born into, and the only knowledge I had of other religions was what I had been told by my own religion. And frankly a lot of that was just plain wrong teaching. If I had been born into a family who was Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, etc. then I would more than likely be of the faith of family of which I was born. How many of us really look outside of what we know and decide what is right for us? How many feel they really have that freedom?

Even though it was a couple of years before I began searching for something - that moment watching a little girl on the news was the beginning of change for me. I am thankful to that little girl. It was time to erase all the programming in my head and find what I wanted for my life - as a religious path, career, hobby, friends, life partner, etc. Right or wrong - I had to make my own choices.

I now feel like I have come home. At first I thought this was because of the craft, maybe I was a Witch in a past life and that is why things just feel right now. But now I realize it is because I am at home inside of me. I am feeling more comfortable with who I am.

Fluffy Bunnies - I have a respect for those that are newer than I am to the craft, the ones that ask stupid questions (As I still do - oh my!) and who just want to dress in cool witchy clothes (It is all about the clothes - right?) and cast spells. They will learn and they will change in their own time - slower or faster. As frustrating as that can be to those more experienced, we all have to start somewhere. I hope I can be a mentor to those new to the craft and can share what knowledge I have as I grow and learn. I hope that I always understand the importance of feeding the change in others and that I never attempt to bring myself to a higher place by trying to make someone else feel small and unworthy.

I still love the same things that caused me to step onto this path but as time goes by I understand more and the mystery deepens and it just gets better and better.

I would love to hear the stories of others who have felt the changes in their lives because of Witchcraft or any other area of life that has made a difference. Please comment and share your story.

Blessed Be